Managing Temper Tantrums
[EDIT – We are working on some new blog posts about emotional regulation and additional strategies for managing tantrums. These will include an exploration of “Time In” as well as “Collaborative Problem Solving” – Stay tuned for updated information!
There are two kinds of temper tantrums:
Manipulative:
This temper tantrum generally happens when children are attempting to gain something and are not successful (i.e. a toy from a peer, or the candy at the checkout counter).
How to manage a manipulative temper tantrum:
- Use planned ignoring
- Be consistent (if you’ve said no, stick with it)
- Respond to the child when they stop crying
- Praise any current, appropriate behaviour
- Label feelings and use reflective listening (it looks like you’re sad, seems like you really want…, sounds like you are….)
Temperamental:
This temper tantrum occurs because of an underlying issue (i.e. overtired, uncomfortable, overstimulated, frustration)
How to manage a temperamental temper tantrum:
Before it happens:
- Plan ahead
- Reduce, or help child with frustrating activities
- Avoid overstimulating
When it’s happening:
- Use planned ignoring
- Respond to the child when they stop crying
- Praise any current, appropriate behaviour
- Label feelings and use reflective listening.
